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Have you guys ever watched the changed of Mask performance from China? or, Have you guys wished before to become anything else besides just being oursleves? I mean, there are some situation that we need to face, by which we cant be ourselves sometimes. A mask is always a necessity. Sometimes, I do wonder if I have 2 different personalities. But, clearly that’s not the answer. Well, I just cme to wear the mask naturally, without noticing it. I say, we are far more better and faster in changing mask than those performer! Agree?

I had wished to become a lot of things. But depending on different situation of coz! Im not a monster to changed that fast!

I wish…I’d be a bird, give me wings, let me fly. Far away from this missery land. Fly like there is no distance at all.

I wish…I’d be sleeping beauty somtimes, let me sleep for a long long time, not knowing all those unnecessary happennings. Let me dream always, eventhough it is not real, it gives me hope.

I wish… I’d be a horse, let me run like there is no end of my journey. Disregarding all the impposbilities, and just RUN.

I wish… I’d be a shoe. Let me walk on feets to all places in the earth. Summer, Spring, Autumn and Winter.

I wish… I’d be Alice (in the wonderland), having the courage to face challenges ahead.

I wish… I’d be the sorting hat! having honesty from the very beginning seed.

I wish… I’d be Dave (crocodile hunter!). Having to have so many direct contact with the nature (despite the crocodile part) form all around places.

I wish… I’d be a camera. Having to store and capture all the memorable scenes, and magical events of this whole journey.

I wish… I’d be cinderella. Wating for my Prince Charming to save me from all these nightmare.

I wish… I’d be a teacher. Then I wont be having exams, but instead, setting exams for teh students! (LOL)

But, upon all these wishes, I’m glad that Im who I am.

-est-

"Haiz~! I’ve had enough of all these CRAP! Stop pushing me around and think that Im just a 3 year old!!! Im not your TOY! Stop giving me more trouble!!! I’ve had it with you! WTH do you want from me! Leave me alone, JERK!" Huh… There it is. I didn really shout it out loud, but finally, I manage to at least type something out from deep inside me. Honestly saying, I’ve been wanting to say this out a long time a go. But, I jsut don’t have the guts. I don’t even have the guts to even type it out! But today I finally did it. No doubt that this release of "anger" was meant for someone. However, I would still like to keep this person’s name anonymous. Maybe someday, I might jsut want to blog his name out. Yes. I have known that being a christian, we should not have sin in keeping anger inside of us, instead of reconciling with those we are angry of. Sometimes I jsut cant help it. I pray hard to God, teach me the ways of love. But anger kept overflows me everytime. At first, I just tend to ignore it. When time goes long, I jsut got very very annoyed and irritated. and when time goes even longer. It turn out to be a sense of fear in me. I fear, to even talk to that person again. I fear, that all the things that he had said was meant for a certain intention, certain purpose. There was no sincerity at all. I have tried not to think about it often, but once I think about it, my head starts to hurt. As if it’s going to explode anytime. Dear friends, I need help. I don’t want to end up in a mental hospital one day. Please pray for me. How should I encounter this fear?

… est…

Hello all =D, it has indeed been quite a while since i updated my last blog entry. Hm… I have so many things to share, so many happennings to describe and so so many thoughts that gone through my mine. But, was having exam lately, so kinda thought that it might be a good idea to make the entries after my exam. Well, today is my last day though… Hehe..Well, in case some of you whom are reading my blog tends to have exam right tomorrow, and are tired of studying, wants to relax your mind with some friendster entertainment, well, I hope the verse I shared to you are able to motivate you. I have found it quite motivating to me while i was struggling with my exam studies.

Hebrews 11:1-3

"I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you,"

Thanx Yii Ching… this verse really motivates me and also comfort me during my struggles and as well, chase out the felts of fear. this verse has indeed bring peace onto my heart.

Just to have a short sharing with all of you, this verse really sealed hard in my mind now. Even though I have jsut got it few days back then. But, it really do reminds me in alot of stuff. About my exam, about the things i have went through and as well, matters of relationships and friendships around me. I was extrememly (still) worrying about my exam yesterday and few weeks ago. Cant eat, cant sleep not even sitting straight to study. There was this devil of anxiety, hanging and dangling around my mind, giving me the thoughts that it’s hopless. I prayed hard to God, let me have peace in my mind, let me know i am in His arms. Not coincidencely, my friend used this verse to reset my mind. From then onwards, when all matters that comes in my mind, i know that God is there for me. Holding me close with Him. I should not be worrying about it anymore (eventhough I still worries, coz it’s human nature!), as it has become a history. So, pray hard about it to God, pray for peace in heart…

Dear friends out there, whom are reading this, I dedicate this verse to you. Whatever difficulties that you are facing now, remember this verse. God holds you close. He hold your right hand. Can you feel His touch and comfort? Let God uphold all your fears and anxieties, for He cares for you. So, don’t worry much ok! concentrate on ur studies. Try ur best and God will do the rest. And not forgetting, pray always for peace in heart.

- est -

ps… Have a blessed week ahead! =D

Hello everyone~! Nice to be heard again. ^^

Few days ago, while i was browsing through my frenster photo albums, particularly, i was pretty touched by one of the photoes. I know Im the one whom uploaded the pictures, but it has already been a while since I uploaded it. Well, it’s still nice once a while to rewind back to the pass, remembering all the happy hours that have been through my life, with dearest brothers and sisters in Christ. 

Hm… it’s a bit of a small having this photo here. Anyways, if you’re really interested, you can browse through my photo album for more (larger somemore…)

referring to the above, it was the time where I had my last and memorable retreat camp ever, organised by the new badge of committee. *well done!* Amazingly to think of it, our fate of getting to knwo each other, or even meeting one another was indeed not a coincidence, but we are destined! It’s even hard to really imagine, that you would have the chance to meet someone, which lives across the other side of the globe. It’s not coincidence, it’s destined! As I recall, our committees comes from all other side of malaysia, and even another side of the world, would come to the same place and thus learning and growing in our Lord. Now, even that we have seperated through distance, but still keep each other close at heart, being each other’s supporter and encourager. Friends are creator of great memories for us. Indeed, I really do miss having hang out with them, fool arond the library, shop around the corner, playing quadra games, having roti canai supper and NoName burger in the middle of midnight… Haha…

Thanx guys, love you all! Even though we are miles apart, we still have each other close in our hearts.