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Mama… i really dont know how to write this topic. but i have a feeling that i need to write it out. 12th April 2005. *stunt* it was that day that i lose her forever. never again i can hear from her, talk to her, smell her frangrance, touch her face, clear off her white hair, taste her cookings, feel her hugz, wash her cloths, hear her yells, pick her up from work, accompany her to teh park…

Yes, i missed her. it has been almost 2 whole years since that incident. but everytime when i think about her, tears started to shed. i tell myself again and again, i will overcome this tragic, i will overcome this tragic.

Few days ago, i dreamt about her. i was calling her. was not able to hear what she is saying, nor hear what i was talking to her. i tried to go to her. but never can i find her. i started to come to my sense, and started asking myself. *mama is alive?!!* questions and question keep popping out of my mind. mama is alive?! why on earth i would thought that mama is dead all these while?!! why? are my family jsut lying to me and hide her from me? is mama really alive? where is she?

when i woke up from this dream… same question were haunting me that night. and reality just hits my head suddenly.. telling me… mama is no more. i cried…

i should move on…