why is the sky so blue today?
what a beautiful sunday today =) the sun was up on the sky, the wind was breezing nicely, although i was really sick, i still enjoyed this wonderful weather that God You have given to us. i stayed in bed for quite sometimes before i got up, thinking and searching of the things that are troubling me all these while… having no money, was always the issue. assignments? yes.. stressing up with alot of assignments ahead… and another lab test that is due as soon as uni starts. what else… BGR going good and bad around, having friends breaking up, getting together, breaking up, gettin together, arh…! is this just too much? or is this just what we call life? i really doubt it… i cried last nite, for no reason. as i woke up this morning, asking myself why did i ever cried last nite?? was it becoz of rhys? was it becoz of stress? was it becoz of assignments? was it becoz of money? no.. it was just becoz of me. i have to admit it, i do easily get affected by happenings around. when my friends broke up, and talk about suckiness.. it made me feel very sad. it made me feel scared that i might be the victim of this fragile life itself. where everything can literally tear me apart, and shatter all my courage. i do fear…
as i took the bus to the church today, i wasn feeling very well. was coughing, and having that damn stupid flu all the way. i felt really blank… i went in for the sunday service, sat down in one of the corners, still having those anxiety within me struggling to cry it out, but couldn, i prayed very hard inside for a helping hand… why am i feeling so blue today Lord! as i stood up and sing hymns, listenning to the sermon today, praying with everyone else, i can slightly felt the calm inside of me. slowing my tears down, my anxiety, and my thinkings. i guess at one point, i just need to stop thinking… i need to get a fair bit of rest.. Rhys was right, im tired, i should rest… but at the same time, i had wished he was here with me last night, just to keep me company. i know he is tired, and that he had a long night, so i didn really say it… but i was glad he was willing to listen to me blah-ing the whole night… thank beans…
After the service, i went home, took a bath, got ready and went to uni. i wasn sure what i was going to do in uni, but i should get my stuff sorted out 1st. of these whole time, im still missing him heaps… =)
wobble beans
